i want to make this comic about my sister and her job as a phone-caller for an insurance agency to give to her as birthday present. and one about how I used to pretend when I drove my car alone that I had me as a toddler in the passenger seat and he would tell me to lighten up. I'm worried I'm never going to be able to take care of anything.

I might just buy dr. pepper lip gloss for her, and maybe really ugly jewelery because I'm bad at that stuff.

I'm getting really tired of music too. Making it, talking about it, the way everyone else talks about it, listening to it. jeez, I am a huge grump guys

It's getting warmer in the northern hemisphere.

I'm in the northern hemisphere! Hurrah! When I see buds on the trees I'm going to make at least one drawing every day. I might also practice throwing and catching a baseball. I've never been able to throw a ball properly, and now that I'm in the land of the Red Sox I fear for my life.

I have a stohmache ache. I really don't like forums. I'm going to learn to use milkytracker now. I feel like I may end up with a lot of eye strain using it, I might lower my resolution.

I wrote a few thousand words here reflecting, but then my 'get-to-the-point & don't be flowery, nobody cares' attitude went into overdrive and I deleted it.

I have not made any sort of visual work in almost a year. I don't know if I miss it.

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I'm aloof to sharing my stuff. It's a somewhat complicated matter, but I think a simple way to explain my situation is that in my head the word sharing becomes "peddling"- an ugly way to go, eh folks?

However, right this moment, I am gray and filled with sleep (but without a bird-faced old man writing love poems about me), so while my ego is on the fritz from exhaustion, I can sneak a link to the music I make before I go to bed:

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Yes, my name is Patrick. Enjoy the tunes or not, chew on them or don't bother. I've been thinking about making a CD which would possibly cajole me back into doing a little bit of artwork, most likely something simple like a reduction block print (fancy phrase for a stamp). I wouldn't be selling them, just giving them out. I'm not really sure.

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I've been in MA for a little more than half a year now, and I don't really like it. I don't go outside much. I can't help but have this strange anxiety, this feeling like no one around here likes me. I worked at a UPS hub during the holiday season, it wasn't the greatest experience in the world. I netted 700-800 clams for a month of monotonous, sweaty work with people that I shared a great amount of not-talkings, new-guy-dont-belong looks, and more nothings that will bother me when I think of them- until time makes them seem like they didn't happen.

There are a few things I keep in my head though, like how much I didn't know about what people send in the mail: raw steaks, fresh pears, car tires, full-sized rugs, sealed buckets of various acids and bases, ready-to-assemble grills, the entire PB Teens' furniture collection, tractor attachments, small boxes filled with lead, bubble-wrapped bras, pipes and tubings of all sizes and shapes, Christmas trees, playgrounds, a Guitar Hero II set; and boxes and boxes and boxes, some are wet and leaking, some crushed and dead, and a rare few that break open to undress themselves; wood and plastic sheets and Styrofoam bumpers and the shouts of passive-aggressive bosses from some distant part of that monstrous system of conveyor belts and cages.

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I got a mini hot dog roller for christmas. It really is a wonderful life, right Jimmy? "I wish I had a million dollars! Hot Dog(s)!"